you know when you're home when the sounds that wake you up either piss the hell out of you or make you fondly remember days when you didn't have to get up at ungodly hours fo school because some damn fool polititican died. or the sounds of a foreign civilization that is foreign no more - things that you could have sworn you would never again remember and they well back up like warts. and when all these emotions boil into a simmering stew of a cacophony at 4.30 in the a.m. you feel yourself all the way down, like snorting a good heapful of wasabi and washing it down with a line of camphor. my 4.30am was an imam who should be put out of his misery and ours, an auto rickshaw on a completely empty street honking away just to let the world know that he exists, and the warbling brain-fever birds who have taken it upon themselves to replace the ubiquitous rooster for the wake-up call. only thing missing was a badly tuned transistor radio, but generally those dudes are not at it quite so early.
madras, my home, is being cleansed of its miriad sins. scrubbed and rinsed until its chafed sinews and guts are starting to show - and they're not pretty. the drains are overwhelmed and the rivers are engorged and overflowing. not so long ago this was a frigid, dried-up crone of a land. and now she's so wet and flush she may actually be regaining a bit of her viginal self. how much cleansing is necessary is unclear.
there's so much prayer and corruption here that once the pollution is flushed away the gods may yet have to heed the calls of the devoted. this is where a good collaborative dayplanner would have helped - too much confusion between the needs of the masses and the power play of the gods!
the brown nation is pretty damn resilient tho'. the tsunami wrecked a few things that have all been put back together. a rainfall of horrendous proportions made a watery hell that inconvenienced the dabba-wallas and wada paw guys for 3 days before they got back on their beat. the gods, still a bit peeved threw down their sledgehammers and the earth itself shook, and that gave us pause for a bit. so in all a heavy rain is just a little tinkle. and what fool-blooded human can say no to warm humid wetness anyway?
two days of unemployment and this is what's become of me! i want to start making decisions on which way to turn but i think i should heed a good friend's advice and just be - sit out the decision making for this run and see what kind of lifeline the universe throws my way.