T minus 3 days @ 4.30am

it's 4.30am on thursday as i write this, and my brain has decided that being anxious is orthogonal to sleep. why the fuck can't i just be anxious AND get a good sleep, eh?! this is quite a serious design flaw that i'm going to have to take up with the manufacturer at some stage..

the next couple of days are going to involve ensuring that i don't drop all the bowling pins that i have in the air. actually, they're more like swords on fire that i'm having to juggle, but that's just nitpicky! for no reason other than that this is what seems into my fickle mind at 4.30 in the AM, here's the list of things i need to get done in the next 3 days. ohmygodohmygodohmygod it's only 3 days! you're lucky you can't hear me shrieking like a schoolgirl - it's not a pretty sight i assure you.

1. el banko must be dealt with. i want to address a rumor around my workplace that i've got some massive gobs of cash stashed away, which is why i'm able to go off on this silly jaunt. i would much rather leave the myth hanging that i'm some financial genius and i've also figured out how to make utsi pay me huge gobs of cash for what i do. but i'd rather just deflate that balloon in case people start showing up on my burmese doorstep asking for handouts.

there's almost no doubt in my mind that my bank balance would make my co-workers completely shocked that a) i've been unable to save more than i have and b) i'm tossing caution to the wind with such a small chunk of change. come to think of it i suspect that most people in the tech world would just write me off as looney. my excuse? the weirdness comes from the dr. pepper (that goes out to my homeboys jatin and satish who, bless their souls, will NEVER tire of that joke!)..

on the bank account note, i have to give due credit to the international banking system, without which i would be absolutely unable to go do this crazy thing. the fact that i can deposit money in an account in the u.s. and have the cash available through a machine in krishnaghar in west bengal is way fucking cool. and believe me when i say i hate "the man", but it's definitely getting harder to be upset at the guy ;-) btw, citibank rocks. i know they're bastard scum that launder all the world's money and are crooks and cheats and all that other good stuff, but their service is outstanding and i'm glad i got an account with them. hsbc in the usa is a pile of stinky poo. these guys are completely inept and i can't for the life of me imagine that anyone would want to bank with them! ah well, i guess live and learn, eh?

2. the final move to fairfield. my car, my unnecessary clothes, my toys, my junk. this is going to be interesting today - i've got to load up the car, meet james for breakfast, get my bike from rushad's, head to work, get my last paycheck, go to the bank to deposit, have lunch with mike, sync up with rushad to get his car and drop him off at ohare, figure out how to get his car back into the city and get back out to get my car, and head to fairfield. somewhere in there there's a little guy in a red suit with horns and a tail just laughing it up. i really should be freaked out of my mind, but i believe my brain has actually stopped comprehending what's going on, and i'm kinda in a state of bliss right now - it all seems just so much fun! yup, i think the marbles are finally loose :-)

3. the final pack-job. things are looking very good on that front. my backpack has exactly the right amount of stuff at least at first glance. i may have to get a few more underwears (boxer briefs if anyone's asking). otherwise i think i've got everything covered. i'm actually surprised at how easy things are going, since a 5 month jaunt should really require more. but i've been living out of a box for the last 2.5 months, and i'm realizing that i have *way* too much stuff - as has been amply detailed in a previous post.

the plan is to take the kelty backpack (redwing 3300), and a small shoulder bag, as checkin. I'll also have another small bag with my camera, a change of shirt, and a few other electronics (mp3, phone, etc.), and my sleeping bag. the change of shirt is for the benefit of the indian customs guys. i've got to have a shirt that says "don't fuck with me", but in a nice way. seems i always get into india looking like a bum, and that may be the reason for getting hassled so much. worth a try anyway.

There has been some very strange sudden change in the past day or so. winter has arrived in full swing - without any pussyfooting. the temperature dropped from 55F to 20F in about 30 hours. i'm very glad to be heading to the tropics! also,
i thought i had lost my work badge on monday. given that i need to turn in my badge when i leave, it's a bit strange that i would lose it after 7 years just days before my final departure. but thanks to the 4.30am insomnia attack i've found said badge under a pile of receipts that i was apparently hoarding for the express purpose of hiding badges. i had resigned myself to dealing with the consequences (what could they *possibly* have been tho', considering i'm leaving!!!), so there was not a lot of joy in finding it again.

things i'm looking forward to for the next couple of days:
1. being in fairfield for one last time for the next several months
2. completely shuttering my house, and getting comfortable with leaving - i'm finally going to have a day to have the entire situation settle in. thus far there have been other distractions such as work to keep me occupied.

not the long laundry list i had anticipated, but there it is!