Fwd: Sexy for President - quite funny!
My friend Vidhya wrote this - its totally hilarious!
People of Texas, I beseech you; please bring sexy back on March 4th.
Most of you will agree that the last 7 years of the Bush administration have been a constant barrage of UGLY. This is just a sampling of the hideousness that we have all had to endure:
Bush – I had to stop watching the news because of this man. With his beady eyes and forked tongue poking out behind his short teeth – what, about this man's coke binge smile, inspires confidence?
Rumsfeld the crypt keeper – I swear I saw Voldermort materialize from
the back of his head during a press conference.
Laura, the patronizing host of her own 50s Christmas special – does any one else think she couldn't be that bad if they didn't drug her before show time?
Rove and his 40 vibrating chins – the more excited he gets, the faster they go. You could probably play his chins like they do half filled glasses of water. His chins could play "you're a mean one Mr. Grinch" during Laura's Christmas show.
Then there's Cheney – dear grotesque Cheney. I imagine Cheney subsists on hunks of pork fat that he keeps in his panic room.
There ain't a salvageable face in the bunch.
Whether or not you like Bill Clinton, you have to admit that he had sex appeal. No doubt he had a passion for policy and a command over the English language, which no one would ever say about Bush. But what made him truly lovable was the fact that whether he was talking about
genocide or Medicare, he had that beguiling grin of a man who has just been blown. He had presence and confidence and something in his eye, perhaps his interviewer's cleavage, made me want to believe in him. It seems that the majority of the world feels the same way because from
San Paolo to Tokyo, people love bubba. He even has his own tree at the Gandhi memorial. Incidentally Kennedy, our last sexy president before Bill, also has a tree there. Maybe the Indians know something we don't.
Sadly for Hillary, she doesn't have any sex appeal of her own. Hillary has done wonders with a good haircut and wide-leg pants. She is Bill's equal if not superior as a policy wonk. But nothing about her makes you want to drop your pants and listen to her espouse the benefits of
her 453 point universal health care plan. And no stylist can make that stiff smile hide her lack of a discernable personality.
That leaves all of you McCain voters. I ask you to think about this.
Imagine for the next four years you have to stare at his horribly misshapen face with that giant goiter coming of his cheek mimicking everything he says a half second after he says it? It's just creepy.
This brings me to my point. When I get bad news, I always feel better about it when someone sexy is giving it to me. Wouldn't it be much better to have Obama's nice broad smile beaming at you while he tells you that we are in a recession? He is charming and witty and has the
ability to cut through the bullshit to get to the heart of the matter. But if you are still undecided, think about this. Here is a man who looks good in a suit and has nice teeth. He probably smells nice too. I might stop hurling things at the T.V. if it was Obama instead of shrub telling me that we were going to be in Iraq for another 50 years. And as a bonus, we also get Michelle Obama.
My mind was made up when I saw her walk across the stage in that red bell-sleeved outfit.
That girl can work a dress. Again, don't underestimate the importance of style. Would the world have been as mesmerized by Jackie O had she looked like a shriveled up tampon – no offense Nancy Reagan. You can never underestimate the importance of being sexy when you are
trying to win over your enemies. I wonder if Sharon wouldn't have liked Arafat more if he didn't look like he had a colony of mice in his beard. Arafat too might have been more pleasant if Sharon didn't waddle into a room like he had eaten several Palestinians for breakfast. Who knows, we might all live in a different world today if these fools had a stylist.
Our next president is going to be inheriting a dangerous and uncertain future. It is up to us to make sure that s/he is equipped with the one thing that can really make a difference – sex appeal.
Bring Sexy Back this Tuesday. VOTE OBAMA!!!