a view into the sordid life i lead

Thursday, September 15, 2005

And then there was 1

Jonii left today. Honestly there's something a bit freeing about being on my own. I've given up my apartment, and have decided to bum at my frinds' places. I'm not opposed to squatting, but I've come to the realization that the sheer volume of possessions in my life is threatening to many ecosystems. How can one person (ok, 2 people) own so much stuff. In reality it's not really a huge amount, at least not in contrast to what the vast majority of the consumo-philic hoards, but still, it's more than i care to call mine.

I'm experiencing a not insignificant amount of anxiety. I'm happy that Jonii has left mainly because my interaction with her was beginning to be primarily disruptive. I think it may the combination of her stress and mine - monumental decisions have been made, and we need to deal with the repercussions for a while to come. Lifestyle changes are not easy, I've heard. Most of my changes in lifestyle have been upgrades. This downgrade is going to be an interesting variation. Jonii's constant re-iteration that I need to be careful about buying dinner for friends, and going out for drinks, and telling me how to manage the finances needles me irrationally. I was well into thinking of her as a nag, and that's good for nobody!

I suspect that the reality of her departure will not sink in for some time. Right now i can use the space, since i need to get a lot of shit together, and feel like i'm making life-altering decisions for the right reasons. Self-analysis time has been at a premium, and the stress of the move has kept us at each other's throats. The me-time should be positive - we'll find out over the next several weeks :-)


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